Chapter Five: Beth Dent (A Prequel and a Sequel)

Beth Dent is the descendent of Elizabeth Haddon Dent.   The Dent family has resided and presided in and over their Camden County land holdings for over two centuries.   For all of those years, they have been described as well-grounded, lovely, and just plain nice.  

If they had settled south of the Mason Dixon line, people would genuinely say (and mean): "Bless Their Hearts".

Beth dent has recently "misplaced" her newest Hermes scarf!   For those wondering how one could misplace such a valued accessory: read Chapter Four of the Dentdale Diaries (Joe Joe Austin).

Beth's cousin has always been fascinated by cars.   In fact, it is to him (the oddly named: Ding Dent) that Beth delivered her new SUV to have a slight dent (no relation) repaired.

Ding Dent's shop would accept no payment for the slight dent's repair, and Beth Dent can now be found running up and down the Jersey shore (Cape May to Belmar and then on to Deal) in her bright red, brand new SUV.

Beth Dent likes red cars:  she finds that the color red often camouflages a world of sin!

The above text is the sequel to Chapter Four (Joe Joe Austin), for the prequel: read on...........

 

My friend has a daughter named Beth.   Beth is charming, intelligent and attractive.   One would think that her personal relationships reflect her accomplishments.   Unfortunately, Beth has attracted paramours who have been somewhat less than gentlemanly.   Fortunately, she has suffered little more than a broken heart, and through her disappointments she has gained insights that have served her well.

Beth is now finishing her Master’s Degree and recently agreed to a blind date (set up by her mother).   Her school duties and other obligations postponed the original ‘date’.   Beth’s mother had spoken highly of the blind date (Joseph).   Beth ‘Googled’ Joseph and found Joseph to be highly regarded by his friends and business associates.   Presumably Joseph did similar research on Beth.   In this age of social media, one does not have to actually meet someone to learn of their accomplishments, personal habits, friendships, and associations and Beth’s research heightened her anticipation of the blind date. 

A few days before the date, Joseph called to confirm the place where he and Beth were to meet, and he also confirmed the time.   Both parties seemed excited at the prospect of this new relationship.

Beth arrived at the restaurant at the appointed time.   She waited fifteen minutes in the foyer and Joseph did not arrive.  The hostess suggested that Beth might be more comfortable waiting at the bar, or in the lovely garden.   Beth doesn’t like to sit at the bar, and when she asked, she was promptly seated in a romantic and charming table that Joseph had pre-selected.

Single women are notoriously bad tippers, and rarely attract the attention of the waiters and waitresses in a restaurant.    Beth sat at the table waiting for Joseph’s arrival.  Assuming that Beth might be yet another low-tipping client, the waitress paid her little attention.   Another 45 minutes passed, and finally a waitress offered Beth a glass of water.  Beth then surprised the waitress by ordering a nice bottle of wine. 

Thinking that Joseph may not have seen her, Beth explained her embarrassment at being ‘stood up’, and described Joseph to the waitress.   The waitress responded that Joseph was an investor in the restaurant, and that he was well-known to the waitress.   The waitress then testified that Joseph had arrived in the restaurant earlier, and had become sidetracked by an urgent business matter.    The waitress was lovely, and apologized for Joseph.   She assured Beth that Joseph would be ‘at table’ in just a moment.

Another fifteen minutes of waiting ensued.   Beth went to the Maître d'hôtel of the restaurant, who assured her that Joseph was keen on meeting Beth, and so Beth returned to the table.

A few moments later, a lovely woman joined Beth at the table.   The woman introduced herself as Susan.   Susan explained that Joseph would not be able to meet Beth for dinner that evening.   She then offered to have dinner with Beth.   Beth had already paid $50 for a bottle of wine, and was looking forward to dining with Joseph.    Susan was charming, but Beth’s lesbian experimentations had been a thing of the past.    Beth thought that it might be nice to have dinner with Susan, but realized that the dinner was not going to be paid for by Susan or Joseph.   Beth can well afford her own meal (and had anticipated splitting the dinner receipt) but it seemed silly to be paying for a meal in a restaurant that Joseph had an ownership in.   Had Joseph or Susan offered Beth the restaurants carte blanche hospitality as a good will gesture from the (missing) Joseph, Beth might have ordered a small salad, and stayed for a moment to enjoy Susan’s company.   But no written communication from Joseph was received offering the restaurant’s hospitality or Joseph’s regrets- so Beth politely declined Susan’s invitation to remain at this estrogen filled table.

Beth thanked Susan for her attentiveness.   Susan escorted Beth to maître d and another reservation was made for Beth and Joseph to dine.

Beth regaled her family and friends with this dining-date-gone-wrong story.     I personally think that the way relationships begin, is the way that they will end, so I cautioned Beth to proceed cautiously in her dating of Joseph.

Beth’s life is very active, and just because she had a date with Joseph, did not mean her life’s activities were reduced or put on hold.  Events both good and bad transpired in the time between the first date and the second date and those events did overshadow the next date, but Beth was determined to put the past in the past, and begin anew with this mysteriously evasive Joseph.

Beth was pleased when Joseph’s secretary called to confirm their next date.   The secretary assured Beth that Joseph would be there, and all seemed well!

The evening of the next date, Beth again arrived at the restaurant in a timely fashion.    As the hostess was ushering Beth to her table, Beth glanced at the reservation book.   Joseph had booked two tables for the same evening at the same time!!

Being no dummy:   Beth surmised that Joseph was going to do a meet and greet with her, and then dump her for a more favorable ‘back-up’ date.      Beth waited 35 minutes for Joseph to arrive.    The waitress that Beth had previously met came to the table.   Beth politely asked the waitress why she had told Beth that Joseph was in the restaurant the last time, but he really wasn’t at all in the restaurant?   The waitress stumbled with her answer and offered Beth a glass of water…

Just prior to her arrival for this second date, Beth had received a text telling her that a close friend was in a distressed situation.   Beth is not one to be publicly histrionic, and felt composed enough to continue with the wait for Joseph.

During this wait, Beth was texted with information about her distressed friend.    Unfortunately, Beth’s friend had suddenly, and unexpectedly passed away.

The shock of this information would be distressing to anyone.   Beth immediately leapt from the table so that she would not be seen in tears.    There really was no time to consider the late arriving Joseph’s feelings or interpretation of her actions.   Beth explained to the waitress that there had been a calamity and that she was leaving.

 

Joseph had been made aware of Beth’s quick and dramatic exit from the restaurant.   Whether his back-up-date consumed too much time – we’ll never know.    Joseph had someone (not Susan) contact Beth about his concerns over Beth’s distress.  Beth graciously thanked the caller for their concern, and unfortunately, erupted into tears over her deceased friend.

 

The caller wanted to know if Beth wanted to arrange for another date!    Beth still (maybe foolishly) wanted to meet Joseph, but she knew that the loss of her friend would require some healing time.    Her appointment with Joseph (at the restaurant) was inextricably linked to the event of her friend’s passing and those events led Beth to understandable bouts of tears. 

 

Beth was surprised by this stranger’s outreach, and received the phone call with the graciousness that she is well known for.   Unfortunately, the grief over her friend’s demise welled-up and Beth erupted into tears.   The caller had presented themselves as someone who was concerned about Beth’s well-being and Beth quickly apologized for her tears with an explanation of her friend’s death.   However, the caller treated Beth’s tears like a hot -potato and quickly ended the conversation (never to be heard from again).

 

Beth readily understood that Joseph would not understand her emotions about being ‘stood-up’ the first time, and about her discovery of being one of Joseph’s double-booked dates the second time.   She feared that she would suffer an unexpected bout of tears over her friend’s death, and that to do so in front of Joseph would be cause for Joseph to justify his ungentlemanly behavior. Beth knew that she needed time to compose herself before venturing out to meet him (Joseph) again and so she has made no attempts to arrange for a third meeting.

 

Beth was clearly not at fault on either date.  She arrived promptly, and acted treated the waitresses and other service staff with elegance and humor.   But, she has yet to meet Joseph and fears that he holds her in some type of contempt.

 

 

END OF STORY

Chapter Four: Joseph "Joe Joe" Austin

The Dentdale Diaries

Chapter FOUR:  

Joe Joe “JOSEPH” Austin

 

Joseph always smelled good.  No, he didn’t smell good, he smelled great!   It was an indefinable scent, very clean, but with a little spice added.   It was like the smell of coconut oil that can’t be washed out after a day at the beach.  It was the smell of good pipe tobacco, and freshly shined shoes.   Maybe it was the scent of line-dried sheets that had been washed in lavender.    Whatever it was, and however it was achieved, one knew that it wasn’t an accident.

Joseph paid good money (and lots of it) to craft an image that was at once impeccably manicured, and at the same time, casual, with just a hint of carelessness.    His facial features were balanced, attractive, but not precious, or without flaw.   His flaws were flaws, but they were flaws that perfectly suited, and complimented this face.

Joseph was no longer young, but he was certainly not old.   He had reached an age: an age of ripeness;   that perfect time in a man’s life when his muscles are no longer taught, but just before gravity took hold and began drawing that musculature towards the ground.

He was round where a man should be round, and square where he should be square.   Geometry teachers would often use Joseph’s perfect shape to explain complicated theories to classes filled with giggling girls, jealous young men, and some giggling jealous young men as well!

Making matters worse, was that Joseph was a nice guy.   He was sincere, funny, intelligent, and capable of original thought.   He was tender, and could always be counted upon to cry at the appropriate moments in any given chick-flick. Even his tears were perfect, not huge torrents of water gushing like a Houston bayou after a rain storm, more like a tiny trickle coming down a granite slope in Pennsylvania.   It was once reported that a Kleenex that he once used to wipe his eyes with was returned smelling of rose petals.

He was stern when needed.   He listened to all arguments and contentions with a wisdom previously attributed to Moses.  He would suffer no fools, but loved foolishness.   He hated the haters (but hated himself for having hatred of anything). 

He was musical, literate, and athletic.   But he was never ostentatious or showy with his talents.   Whether he was playing piano, or bouncing across a soccer field he exhibited a sort of grace.   

Most people squirm when someone (particularly men) read poetry out loud.   Women and men both adored Joseph’s dulcet tones and often implored him to read poetry out loud.   Whether it was Walt Whitman, or Maya Angelou, Joseph’s recitations brought new meaning, insight and poignancy to the poem.   He laughed at his own poetry (often calling it derivative).    It wasn’t quite original stuff, but it wasn’t exactly plagiarized either.  It was the context, the setting, or knowing the genesis of Joseph’s poems that made one pause, think, reflect, and admire the sagacity of his works.

He drank not too much, and not too little.    He had no real opinion about those who abused alcohol, or other mood altering substances.   Yes, he had smoked marijuana, and yes he had inhaled.   But he wasn’t the type to purchase such substances, nor was he one to decline the offer of a little toke now and then.

He was one of the rare people with who could be left alone in a room that boasted eight lines of cocaine; with the host knowing that at least seven-and half-lines would be there when they returned.

He was terrible in bed – but great on the floor.  He needed no penthouse filled with adult toys to pleasure his companions.   He took (and gave) his passions where he found them.   He took care to insure that his partners were satisfied to completion – in fact, multiple completions, and then he allowed himself his indulgence.

His nocturnal adventures would occasionally find him in situations of mixed gender, but he escaped any suggestion or hint of gayness.    

Straight as an arrow was our man Joseph.

He had but one little, annoying, constantly occurring, personality disorder:

HE COULD NOT

WOULD NOT

AND NEVER…

ARRIVED FOR ANYTHING ON TIME!!!!

It was predicted that he would be late for his own funeral!  In fact (well, that’s probably a tale left for the end of our story)………

Joseph never broke hearts, because no one ever truly gave their heart to Joseph.   Mostly because those who had placed their hearts on the table found themselves at a table for one!     By the time Joseph had arrived ‘at table’ those hearts were placed back in their gift boxes, to be delivered to more punctual suitors.

A recent blind date(s) found Joseph sharing his wonderfulness with those other than his planned date.   He had the best of intentions, and did all that he could (or really, all that he thought he should) to arrive for his date in something close to the appointed time.   Unfortunately for his date (the long suffering heroine of another story: Beth) the peripatetic Joseph’s path was detoured by situations and people, and to people and situations that commanded (not politely requested) his attentions and ministrations.  

By the time he had satisfied the needs of those who had called upon him, his lovely, charming, educated and frankly totally hot date (Beth) had flown the coup from which Joseph had asked her to perch.

Joseph was truly embarrassed about his ‘failure-to-lunch’ and eagerly looked forward to his next nesting with Beth.   Arrangements were made for the date, and it was Joseph’s misfortune to have forgotten that he had previous (long-standing) arrangement with his attorney at the same place, same time.

Joseph’s mother had wisely taught him that anything a man could do, a woman could better, longer, and harder – so Joe Joe (Mom Austin’s nickname for her son) had hired a female attorney.

Beth had correctly spied another woman’s name to Joseph’s at the restaurant, and incorrectly assumed that Joseph had aligned another ‘back-up’ date.    Had other events not commanded Beth to abruptly exit the restaurant, she too, might have met an attorney with whom business could be conducted.

Missed opportunities abound in human life.   It is the road not taken that causes us pause.  Would Joseph and Beth found eternal happiness?

We know that Beth is happy, and we presume that Joseph has found his eternal happiness!

Beth was driving past Joseph’s restaurant just as Joseph exited his brand new sports car.    Beth’s heart raced as she clipped the car’s bumper with her brand new SUV.   She was excited to have made contact with Joseph, and as she sped off, she threw the on-looking crowd her brand new Hermes scarf (bought in Paris) to cover Joseph’s perfect, symmetrical (now deceased) face that boasted one new flaw:

BETH’S MICHELIN TIRE TREAD!